Suggested Reading

Books for Singles

Harville Hendrix, Keeping the Love You Find
Reviewer Pat McChristie says that "This book will help you take responsibility for your own relationships rather than putting the blame on others. . . .[I]t is a timeless book that applies to singles as they prepare for a lasting and rewarding relationship and for couples as they keep the love they have found."

Harville Hendrix, The Personal Companion: A Workbook for Singles
A workbook to accompany Keeping the Love You Find.

Books for Couples

Harville Hendrix Getting the Love You Want
This is the book that introduced the Imago theory we use in our practice to the world. In one reviewer's words, "This book will help any couple find the love they want hidden under all the concealing confusion of a close and intimate relationship. I have seen these principles in application and they work!" (James A. Hall, M.D.). With Getting the Love You Want couples in any stage of a relationship can resolve their conflicts and achieve mutual emotional satisfaction.

Harville Hendrix, Getting the Love You Want Workbook: The New Couples Study Guide
This is a workbook which provides couples structured guidance for using Imago resources in their lives. This is the book recommended by Dr. John Becker to many of his clients.

Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Receiving Love: Transform Your Relationship By Letting Yourself Be Loved
As described by the publisher, the book is the first to address the biggest unexplored issue facing couples today. "Most of us are better at giving love than accepting it. We don't realize all the ways that our resistance to appreciation, praise, compliments, and accepting help from others hurts us and cripples our relationships. Many partners learn how to give love, but many more undermine their relationships by forgetting getting something that is equally important-learning to receive it . . . With its groundbreaking theory, challenging processes, and inspiring examples, this book holds the key to loving relationships that last.

John M. Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. This book is a much simplified version of his academic work.

John M. Gottman, The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships
Dr. John Gottman, who has won numerous awards for his groundbreaking research, presents a revolutionary five-step program for repairing troubled relationships with spouses and lovers, children and other family members, friends, and even your boss or colleagues at work. Drawing on a wealth of new research, Gottman provides the tools you need to make your relationships thrive.

John Gottman, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last
Gottman is a leading researcher in couples therapy. This book is based on thorough research. He challenges some of the myths of marriage and divorce and explains, what works and doesn't work in marriage. Based on his over 25 years of research and observations of the "masters" and "disasters" of marriage, he can determine with over 85% accuracy which couples will stay married and which will divorce. His model includes communication skills, physiology, and relationship-building activities with basic instructions for what not to do, and more importantly, what to do, to have a happy marriage.

Judith S. Wallerstein & Sandra Blakeslee, The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts

Judith Viorst, Grown-up Marriage: What We Know, Wish We Had Known, and Still Need to Know About Being Married
This is a quick and mostly entertaining read. Whether you are single, a newlywed, or celebrating your golden anniversary, it�s a lighthearted look at a big commitment.

Books on Families and Children

Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt, Giving the Love That Heals
Using Imago Relationship Therapy with your children.

Judith S. Wallerstein, What About the Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce
This is another valuable resource from child psychologist Judith Wallerstein. She observes that divorce is not a single event but a lifelong trajectory of changed circumstances that demand a different kind of parenting than we have ever known. In What About the Kids? Wallerstein shows parents how to create a new family with compassion and wisdom. It covers issues that arise at the time of divorce as well as suggestions for talking to your children months and years after the event.

Other Resources

Judith Viorst, Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow
Here Judith Viorst addresses how we grow and change through the losses that are an inevitable and necessary part of life. She argues persuasively that through the loss of our mothers' protection, the loss of the impossible expectations we bring to relationships, the loss of our younger selves, and the loss of our loved ones through separation and death, we gain deeper perspective, true maturity, and fuller wisdom about life. This is a book that is both life affirming and life changing.